Author: voice
永恆的相依
REGRETS OF THE DYING

1. 我希望當初我有勇氣過自己真正想要的生活,而不是別人希望我過的生活。
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
這是所有後悔的事中最常聽到的。
心理學上有個理論,較之那些我們做過的事,人們後悔的往往是那些沒做的事。所以當人們在生命盡頭往回看時,往往會發現有好多夢想應該實現,卻沒有實現。你的生活方式、你的工作、你的感情、你的伴侶,其實我們多少人過著的是別人希望你過的生活,而不是自己真正想要的生活——又可能,一直以來你把別人希望你過的生活當作是你想要的生活。
當你疾病纏身時,才發現其實自己應該而且可以放下很多顧慮追求你要的生活,似乎已經晚了一點。
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. 我希望當初我沒有花這麼多精力在工作上。
I wish I didn't work so hard.
這是她照顧過的每一個男病人會說的話。因為工作,他們錯過了關注孩子成長的樂趣,錯過了愛人溫暖的陪伴,這是他們最深的後悔與愧疚。其實對於現在的職業女性來說,這也將成為一個問題。
如果把你的生活變簡單些,你也許會發現自己在做很多你以為你需要做其實不需要你做的事。騰出那些事佔的空間,可能你會過得開心一點。
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. 我希望當初我能有勇氣表達我的感受。
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
太多的人壓抑自己的感受與想法,只是為了「天下太平」,不與別人產生矛盾。漸漸他們就成了中庸之輩,無法成為他們可以成為的自己。其實,有很多疾病與長期壓抑憤怒與消極情緒有關。
只是為了「天下太平」,不與別人產生矛盾。漸漸他們就成了中庸之輩,無法成為他們可以成為的自己。其實,有很多疾病與長期壓抑憤怒與消極情緒有關。
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. 我希望當初我能和朋友保持聯繫。
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
老朋友的好,我們總要到自己有事了的時候才會想到。
多少人因為自己忙碌的生活忽略了朋友忽略了曾經閃亮的友情。很多人臨終前終於放下錢、放下權,卻放不下心中的情感與牽掛。朋友也好,愛人也罷,其實生命最後的日子裡,他們才是我們最深的惦念。
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. 我希望當初我能讓自己活過開心點。
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
也許有點出乎意料,但這一條也在前5之中。很多人直到生命的最後才發現,「快樂是選擇」。
他們在自己既定習慣和生活方式中太久了,習慣了掩飾,習慣了偽裝,習慣了在人前堆起笑臉。就像五月天的那首歌,「你不是真正的快樂,你的笑只是你給的保護色」。他們以為是生活讓他們不快樂,其實是他們自己讓自己不快樂了。
是只有臨終的時候才會發現,別人怎麼看你又有什麼關係呢,傻也好,怪也罷,能有真心的笑,比什麼都值得。
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Author:
Bronnie Ware
Bank

Once I was in Victoria, and I saw a very large house. They told me it was a bank, and that the white men place their money there to be taken care of, and by and by, they got it back, with interest.
We are Indians, and we have no such bank; but when we have plenty of money or blankets, we give them away to other chiefs and people, and by and by, they return them, with interest, and our hearts feel good. Our way of giving is our bank.
Maquinna
Nootka Indian Chief
門
對錯的時間
感謝危機
現代社會變化迅速,人們所面對的問題與挑戰愈來愈多,但不管面臨什麼前所未有的壓力,或遭到什麼重大的危機,遇事冷靜以對,把危機當成轉機,就能在艱困中走出創新之路,再創高峰。
阿拉巴馬州是美國主要的產棉區之一,當地世世代代都種棉花,人們生活並不富裕,因為這種靠天吃飯的農業沒什麼前景。一九一○年,阿拉巴馬州遭遇一場嚴重的象鼻蟲災害,棉花被象鼻蟲吃光,棉農欲哭無淚,生活陷入困頓。這時,有人建議不要只種棉花,可以改種玉米、大豆等其他作物,以吸引一些工業。結果,經濟效益比以前高出了四倍,阿拉巴馬州從此走上繁榮之路。
當地人認為,這一切應歸功於那場蟲災,如果不是象鼻蟲,他們很可能還是庸庸碌碌,是象鼻蟲讓他們學會改變,化危機為轉機。州政府特別在當初蟲害的始發地安特普萊斯鎮,建了一座紀念碑,碑身上有一行金色大字:深深感謝象鼻蟲在繁榮經濟方面的貢獻。
法國作家巴爾札克曾說:「厄運是一個深不可測的寶藏。」前美國總統甘迺迪也有句名言:「危機即代表危險與機會。」苦難與逆境來時,要正視它,甚至感謝它,千萬不要輕易投降,所謂「山不轉路轉,路不轉人轉」,把危機當成轉機,人生或許將有另一片更寬廣的天空。(妞吉)
黑人
★這是發生在美國的真實故事。
有位白人婦女帶著 6 歲大的兒子出遠門,找來了計程車,司機是位黑人。
這 6 歲的兒子從未見過黑人,心中非常的害怕,就問媽媽:「 這人是不是壞人,
為什麼會長得黑嚕嚕 ?」 黑人司機聽了很難過。 此時白人婦女告訴兒子:
「這位司機叔叔,不是壞人,他是一個很好的人。」兒子沈默半晌再問道:
「既然他不是壞人,那他是不是做了什麼壞事,所以天父在懲罰他 ?」
黑人聽了淚水在眼眶中打轉,他很想知道這白人婦女怎樣回答 ? 媽媽說:
「他是個很好的人,也沒有做壞事。咱們家花園的花,有紅、有白、有黃... 是不是 ?」
「是啊!是啊 !」 「那花的種子是不是都黑色的 ? 」孩子想了一下,「對啊!都是黑的。」
「黑色的種子,開出色彩鮮美的花朵,讓這世界多采多姿,是不是 ?」「是啊!」
孩子恍然大悟地說:「那司機叔叔不是壞人嘍!感謝司機叔叔,您讓這世界多采多姿,我要為您祈禱。」 天真的孩子在一旁禱告著,黑人司機的淚水奪眶而下, 此時,目的地到了,黑人司機下車為白人母子開車門,感激的說:「夫人,謝謝您, 您的一席話,讓我的人生,充滿光明希望,不再晦暗,夫人,謝謝您 !」
很美麗的女子,是不是 ? 這是發生在美國的真實故事。第一次聽到時,深深憾醒沈睡的心。
這位美麗的女子那高度智慧的言語,教導孩子不要有分別心的同時,更溫暖了傷痕纍纍的心。
Serves this purpose
Eventually, you will come to understand
that love heals everything,
and love is all there is.
The journey may take many lifetimes,
but you will complete it.
It is impossible not to complete it.
It is not a question of if but of when.
Every situation you create
serves this purpose.
Every experience you encounter
serves this purpose.
Gary Zukav
Spiritual Author and Teacher
Liberal
If by a 'liberal' they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people - their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties... if that is what they mean, then I am proud to be a liberal.
President John F. Kennedy, 1917-1963
35th President of the United States


